When Dark Thoughts Creep In

 

Have you ever felt so defeated in your life that you want to end it? 

I have. 

This feeling is scary and not something I would wish on anyone. 

John 1:4-5 says, "In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it." I love this bible verse because what it says is of the up most importance. We must remember that whatever we may be feeling or thinking that is negative, is not coming from God. Those undesired feelings are coming from the evil one. He knows ways to get you further away from Jesus and he will do anything in his power to get you to feel separated from the love of Jesus. But the light always shines brighter that the darkness and this idea is so important to remember when having those feelings. 

Having thoughts about ending your life is not something people should take lightly. It is a scary feeling, not one anyone else can understand to the depth of the way you do, simply because everyone handles those types of things differently. Life is a funny thing sometimes. It can be so beautiful and wonderful, but at the same time, it can be dreary and feel dark. 

Life was not meant to be easy, it was meant to be lived. This is what we must remember when dark thoughts find their way of creeping in our minds. "Life was not meant to be easy, it was meant to be lived." You might be thinking, okay but how do I move on from those thoughts? The truth is, that is for you to figure out. Finding your way in life is a difficult journey, that we all must learn to do. 

This is where you might think faith comes in. You are right. 

Loving Jesus does not cure anxiety. Loving Jesus doesn't cure depression. Loving Jesus does not cure dark thoughts. BUT loving Jesus does offer you grace, love and the support you need to get you through life. 

One phrase that I made up when I was younger to pray to God in times of despair was, 

"Come to me oh Lord, purify my heart, and make me whole." 

I said this to Jesus every time I pray and still do to this day. 

Giving Him your heart is a hard thing to do, but in the end you will be so happy that you did. 

I am being vulnerable with you guys in order to give you hope. I hate telling my story to people, but am hoping I can offer you support and comfort in you knowing that you are not alone if you struggle with any of the things mentioned above. I didn't mention half of the things that I went through, but I shared what I did with you in hopes you could gain some bit of wisdom on how to deal with this hard thing we all have in common; life. 

Remember, you were made for a purpose and reason. God does not make mistakes and you are needed in this world. You were made to SHINE. 

What a life we get to live. 

Maggie